The Autism Connection
By Serena Sutherland

In each of us, we continue to strive and maintain a sense of safety. When our sense of safety is threatened, we experience a behavioral change into a fear/fight/flight spectrum. This can account for the behavioral range that is frequently seen in autism, from one of complete withdrawal to one of intense aggressive behavior.

Young autistic teenagers are like most of us; they want to Join-Up®. Much of their aggressive behavior is due to the perception that their safety is breached. To our surprise, we might be contributing to their behavioral problem. We, as caretakers, must learn to recognize when the sense of safety is broken. We can then recreate a safe space for them to “regroup”.

My encounter with the young boy named Ed, demonstrates how to become part of a solution and have a more humane relationship with the autistic person.

Ed’s parents telephoned me after hearing a presentation I gave on autism. Ed required placement outside the home, and his tantrums had become unmanageable. Drugs and behavior modification were reinforced, with careful documentation, in an attempt to identify what set off Ed’s behavior. The school staff spent most of their time redirecting his behavior, although he enjoyed and did well in his academic studies.

Ed’s loss of safety was recognized one morning when he discovered his rocking chair had been removed from the classroom. This chair was a major comfort zone for him. He confronted the teacher and, realizing that the chair was not to return, he fled from the classroom.

Outside, Ed saw me standing next to my car, charged toward me and started pounding his fists all over the vehicle. Quietly, I spoke a few words to him regarding the situation and promptly sat down on the ground, waiting for him to join me.

Ed was accustomed to my action of sitting on the ground (I, as well as his caretaker, assumed this position when his unacceptable behavior escalated). When I asked Ed to join me, he realized that I was giving him my full attention. He sat down several feet away from me and we were able to identify his needs and the importance of the rocking chair. His teacher later acknowledged her mistake and returned the rocking chair to the classroom.

On his volition, Ed recognized my support, stopped beating on the car and became coherent. He was able to rejoin his classmates for the entire day.

How did I know that this approach might work?

I remember first working with Ed in his classroom. He was starting his school day with a lot of unhappiness and refused to begin his academic work. Ed was lying down on the sofa and hitting his head with his fists. I sat on the floor a few feet away from him and said, “I will stay with you until you feel better.”

After a few minutes of tantrum behavior, he looked up at me and said, “You don’t want me to hurt myself, do you?” I acknowledged him with a nod of my head; we understood each other.

He rested for five minutes and said he was ready to start his class work. This “linking up” with one another is similar to Monty’s “Join-Up” with horses. My intention and focus is as important as my approach with Ed. Finding what works, I began to share it with people interested in working with autism.

I have used Monty’s video “Join-Up” to inspire parents, teachers, students and caretakers to create new ways of communicating with their children, young autistic people, fellow workers and partners.

1999 re-print, Join-Up Journal